The actress explains why it was hard for her as a private person to be outspoken about her sexual orientation.
Kristen Stewart opened up about why she remained so private about her dating life and sexuality in the earlier days of her career, as well as the impact she felt her preference for privacy had on those around her and in the LGBTQ community in a new InStyle interview.
While promoting her upcoming project Happiest Season, Stewart spoke to the film's director Clea DuVall for the magazine's November issue about how her personal journey with her sexual orientation spilled over into the public eye due to her fame. Stewart revealed that she felt overwhelmed the first time her relationship with a woman became publicized.
“The first time I ever dated a girl, I was immediately being asked if I was a lesbian," Steward said. "And it's like, 'God, I'm 21 years old.'"
The notoriously private actress went on to explain that her reluctance to entertain the public and media's questions about her sexual orientation and love life may have had an unintended impact on those around her.
"I felt like maybe there were things that have hurt people I've been with. Not because I felt ashamed of being openly gay, but because I didn't like giving myself to the public, in a way," Stewart explained. "It felt like such thievery. This was a period of time when I was sort of cagey."
Stewart, who identifies as bisexual, shared that she was equally private about her previous relationships with men and "did everything we could to not be photographed doing things — things that would become not ours." The actress went on to say that because of this, "the added pressure of representing a group of people, of representing queerness wasn't something I understood then."
Reflecting on that time, Stewart said that she's since been able to see how being open about her relationships with women hold a different significance than her relationships with men.
"Only now can I see it. Retrospectively, I can tell you I have experience with this story. But back then, I would have been like, 'No, I'm fine. My parents are fine with it. Everything's fine,'" the Happiest Season star said. "That's bull—. It's been hard. It's been weird. It's that way for everyone."
When asked by DuVall about whether she now feels like she has to be a representative for the LGBTQ community because of her platform, Stewart shared that she did when she was younger and "being hounded about labeling myself." However, she clarified that the pressure wasn't coming from members of the LGBTQ community who were simply looking for visibility.
"I was a kid, and I felt personally affronted," Stewart explained. "Now I relish it. I love the idea that anything I do with ease rubs off on somebody who is struggling. That shit's dope! When I see a little kid clearly feeling themselves in a way that they wouldn't have when I grew up, it makes me skip."
Article by: Abbey White for the Hollywood Reporter.
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