It is not just runaway production, it is the general dumbing down of America andthe screamingly constant increasing stupidity of on-screen content driven by thestupid, stupid glee of fobbing off low-end, mindless, trashy reality junk on agrowing number of mind-snatched grunts masquerading as hominids.
Onceupon a time, pig ignorance was largely confined to sections of Europeancountries removed from good media and communications access, the remote hillsand valleys of the United States, and to dumpster cultures around the world, butall that has changed and I hear the new motion picture rating system willprohibit ticket sales to anyone with an IQ over 35. Within a couple of years,television will convert entirely to infomercials and the major networks andsyndicates will move to UTube and Twitter where all programming will be totallynon-professional and done on webcams by illiterate pre-adolescents.
By2012 the states of Michigan, South Carolina, New Mexico, and Louisiana willlimit production permits to groups with budgets of under $8.49, the Toronto andVancouver production base will move into the Hudson Bay Islands, and the mostpopular show on TV will be the international edition of the Jack La Lane JuicerShow. Broadway will embrace rap musicals about lobotomies and lobectomies.Documentaries will be made about the making of the making of documentaries andnews broadcasts will be limited to news about infomercials,
By 2015Warner Brothers will become gender non-specific and change its name to WarnerSiblings, Fox Studios will take up the animal rights mantle and convert its nameto Foxglove. China will become Happy Family Place. Call letters will beabolished due to public outrage over Alphabetical Profiling.
Who is toblame for this? Is it a small group of Lilliputians engaged in their big-end,little-end debate? Is it the Idi Amin Track and Field Society? Is it MichaelEisner or Mike Ovitz? NO. We, the entertainment and media community who embraceand worship our own emptyheadedness and deify the talentless-klewless mudsuckersamongst us are to blame. There was a time when quality and literacy wererespected but all of that was smoked out and what is left is the rubble of aonce proud industry, the rubbish of our species.
This memo just in fromthe International Non-Scrited Scriptwriters Commission: due to the cooling ofglobal warming, all rules of grammar in all languages except Aleut and Lapp aresuspended and the content of all scripts must be made to fit on a single fortunecookie strip in order to save the tree that grows in Brookly. Fortune cookieproduction shall be outsourced to the 419 Region of Nigeria. AFTRA has approveda merger with the ILGWU.
Ned Stuart, Lang Syne Films